With the escalation in divorce, separation, domestic violence, and even murder cases, you may wonder if there’s any hope left for the marriage institution. Society does not help matters as your family and friends could be advising you wrongly. However, there is still hope if you choose to make things work in your marriage no matter what you are going through. Here are practical ways you can use and reignite the fire in your relationship.
1. Seek Help
There is no harm or shame in confiding in someone about your marital problems. You can talk to your parents, friends, or spiritual leaders. However, when things need a professional solution, you can visit a marriage counsellor.
Sometimes the issues affecting you and your spouse could be substance abuse. Visiting Couples Rehabs can help remedy the situation. Addiction can have a huge and negative impact on your relationship since the affected partner becomes an irrational thinker.
Rehabilitation helps make your spouse come out of the situation faster compared to a situation where he or she would be trying on his or her own. When a spouse sees the support you offer him or her by going the extra mile to understand him or her better, he or she appreciates the effort. Your bond strengthens after the partner heals, and he or she will be careful to avoid a relapse.
2. Set Standards
When you start your relationships, you need to let the other partner know there are lines they cannot cross. Becoming a doormat to keep your marriage together can never work. Over time, feelings of hatred develop, and it will not be long before you snap.
If you did not set the standards early on, it is never too late to do it if you feel some values get neglected. Hurtful behaviour from a spouse can escalate to an ugly conflict that can make reconciliation hard.
If you are in the process of planning to get married, you should also think about what could potentially happen down the line. This is not to say that you will break up, but you should be well aware of where you are at now and how that could affect the future. For instance, if you have money or family inheritance, you may need assistance with creating a prenup that works for both of you. People can see prenups as a clock waiting to count down to separation, but it is there to protect everyone so that if divorce is on the horizon because issues can’t be sorted out, it is not drawn out for years.
3. Be Willing To Change
Sometimes the things you are going through in your relationship could be as a result of you not willing to change yourself. You may not change who you indeed are, but if some behaviours irritate your partner, you can change. Focus on what your spouse is trying to communicate and see if a solution can come up.
If you are the one aggrieved, do not be afraid to speak up your mind. Your spouse could be unaware of what is unnerving you. Try to talk to them calmly and show how glad it would make you feel to see them change.
When expressing distaste of your partner’s behaviour, do not do it in a criticizing manner. Blaming the other person makes them aggressive and may not be willing to submit. Be kind in your talk by avoiding arguments to avoid further conflicts.
4. Know How To Handle Arguments
Arguments are typical in any relationship, but how you handle them can make or break the marriage. Look out for the good of the other partner than the desire to want to win. It is not easy, but you can purpose to do it to maintain your sanity and keep the bond strong.
Take a break if you feel the argument is not leading anywhere or if you are too angry to talk. It is better to leave the room before uttering hurtful words that can worsen the situation. Come back when you two are calm and try to reach a consensus.
5. Don’t Dwell On The Negatives
Problems are a part of life, and marriage is not exempt from them. However, avoiding discussing them can make them escalate. Do not dwell on the negative things affecting your marriage.
Your emotional state is essential, and that means negativity should not be your primary focus. Look for possible solutions to what it is you are going through instead of seeing impossibilities. Stress and depression arise due to harbouring hard feelings, and that only increases troubles.
Have a journal where you write all things that make you happy. You can also make positive affirmations in front of the mirror to help the mind be positive. Even if your partner shows negativity, the positivity you bring will change the atmosphere.
6. Treat Your Spouse As A Friend
When things are not working, instead of seeing your partner as an enemy, treat him or her as a friend. Dealing with the spouse from a friendly point makes you overlook some mistakes. Staying together can bring about familiarity, which in turn can make you treat them contemptuously.
You have to watch your best friend’s back no matter what you are going through. Try to spice up your love life by doing the things that made you love each other. Go for picnics, do hobbies you like together, or discuss ways in which you can make things better.
