The word trauma bonding describes itself perfectly. A bond that’s based on trauma. Do you find yourself or see people in an abusive relationship and wonder why they choose to stay with the abuser when they can simply leave? Well, that’s the effect of trauma bonding.
You may find strong, independent, and confident people stuck in an abusive relationship feeling lost about what to do and where to go, and the only question that you get is, why don’t they leave the person who hurts them? Their brain has equated love and abuse; therefore, these people accept their fate and bear everything quietly.
If you or your close ones suffer from trauma bonding, read more about it and how you can break it. You can also search for singapore therapist, take help and break free from the trauma bond.
What is Trauma Bonding?
Trauma bonding, in simple words, is being attached to the abuser. Being well aware of the impact of their action and the harm they cause you and still letting it go. Trauma bonding addiction happens because every time they mistreat you and abuse you, you are shattered, but when they calm down and come to you running like it was the biggest mistake of their life and swear that they won’t do it again, this releases happy hormones in your brain. Your brain is accustomed to the highs and lows of the relationship.
Getting out of such relationships is difficult as your sense of self is lost. You are unable to judge your perceptions, feelings, and emotions. Sometimes you even start to wonder or blame yourself for doing something wrong or messing it up, because of which your partner gets angry. Taking help from your family members, a friend you trust, or external support can help you come out of the traumatic pattern.
Trauma bonding can be between partners, parents and child, friends, professors and students, bosses and colleagues, or colleagues.
Signs Of Trauma Bond
Covering Up Your Partner’s Mistakes
We see that people hide the marks on their faces with make-up or make excuses, like they fell from the stairs, to keep their partner’s behavior hidden. They constantly cover up for their partner even if everyone knows what happened. They somehow still see the “good” in them regardless of what has happened.
Unable to leave
Some days, when the abuse gets extreme, a person in the trauma bond may gather the courage to leave but somehow cannot. It is not as easy for people suffering from trauma bonds to just pack their bags and leave. Sometimes, they are physically and emotionally attached to the person, and the thought of leaving them feels more dreadful than actually living with them.
You Hope For Change
Being aware that the change they expect will never come, they keep hoping for the best. Every time the abuse takes place, they remind themselves that this won’t happen the next time while being fully aware that it will.
If you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, you should try therapy. The trained professional will help you break free of the trauma bond.
Breakfree through therapy
Through therapy, you can understand the “why” and “how” of your behavior. You can dig deep into your past and learn how to learn that love meant abuse. You’ll understand that this is not normal and can lead a peaceful life if you break the trauma bond. All you need is a little courage to make that decision and get support to break the abusive pattern.
You can contact a therapist and ask for support by typing trauma therapist Singapore or Psychotherapy and Counselling in Singapore.
Wrapping up
To completely get over the trauma bond, you must stop seeing the good in the abuser. You have to finally get their lies and stop trusting them. With support from your Singapore therapist, family, and friends, you can break free from this traumatic pattern. We hope this blog will help you identify trauma bonding and how to overcome it.
